A talk to remember…..


Teapot and Cups

Teapot and Cups - So reminiscent of our lives

In one of my previous posts, I had written out some quotes I have made at many occasions in my life. There are stories behind those quotes and how they came into existence and I would like to share those stories with you. Let me start with this one: “Life without control is like a tea without a teapot.

I was doing my GRE preparation but my mother was worried about me wasting my time at home for a year. So she asked me to take a bank exam so that I will have a job to stay engaged. I didn’t accept it initially but finally gave in to the pressure and agreed to write Canara Bank exam. I was on my way to Trivandrum on Sunday, the 4th of July 2010 to appear for the bank test.

AC Chair Car
AC Chair Car

In every train travel I had, I wish I had a girl beside me to chat; however most often it will be some guy. This journey proved otherwise. It was the AC Chair Car and I was looking for Seat #50 which was a window seat. I found the place and saw that it was occupied by a girl who was about to eat. I said “Excuse me, I am afraid the seat is mine“. She said “Mine is 51 and according to my ticket, 51 is Window“. I asked her to look above the window pane and she did. It was 50 that was the Window Seat.

Stephen Hawking by Kitty Ferguson
Stephen Hawking by Kitty Ferguson

She apologized and moved to the adjoining seat. Then we found that IRCTC had printed W in both of our tickets. Anyway, I took out a book on Stephen Hawking written by Kitty Ferguson and started reading. She had chicken biriyani for lunch. After a while she got up and went to wash and returned.

Just like any other guy, my mind was not in the book but on the girl. She wasn’t that great looking but yet, I felt that she could be a time pass for three to four hours. Thinking this way I asked “You are going to Trivandrum?“. She replied “No, I am not. I am getting down at Kollam.

Clinical Psychologist
Clinical Psychologist

Bingo! A conversation starter at last. I told her that I am a native of Kollam and there the conversation went. I found that she was a clinical psychologist specialized in child psychology. Being a polymath, I was into psychology too and I knew that I could learn something from her. And there ensued an interesting conversation. I asked her the difference between psychology and psychiatry and she explained to me that psychologists rely more on counseling than prescribing medications.

I inquired about the kind of work she did as a psychologist. She told that parents go to her with their children with various problems. Also she mentioned a school that is run by her family which makes her work easier since she can study children better.

Image of Coffee
A cup of coffee

The coffee man came and both of us ordered coffee. I spoke about what I knew about psychology by posing questions, analyzing situations and discussing conclusions. We spoke about the problems faced by the younger generation. She told that in a place like Kollam which is less advanced when compared to other places like Trivandrum or Kochi, there are students addicted to television and Internet pornography.

Image of Internet Pornography
Internet Pornography

I was surprised. The next question I asked was the age group of the students and to my horror I found that it is less than 10. I asked her whether the bigger cities were worse and sure enough, she said yes. My question was whether the percentage of students from public schools were more than students from government schools. She said that there is hardly any kid from government school who came for counseling.

Image of B F Skinner
B F Skinner

This was really unsettling for me. I asked her whether she expects and impending social disintegration. She agreed that she expects something similar to happen in the near future. I must admit that she was really impressed by the way I speak and the amount of knowledge I have.

Image of Social Disintegration
Social Disintegration

I spoke about the studies of Skinner and Adler and that added color to the conversation. Then we spoke about social relations and how the current generation takes relationships. She told that most youngsters she meets now a days don’t really believe in the institution of marriage. Even contemporary psychologists have the same opinion as well.

Though unsettling, her findings were not surprising to me. At my leisure, I search the Internet for information regarding the current social awareness and its viability in the successful survival of the society.

Image of Cohabitation
Premarital Cohabitation

I asked her about her views on premarital cohabitation. She told that she didn’t like that idea since according to her premarital sex and cohabitation has been found to have a direct correlation with divorce rates in most cases unless it is restricted to the future spouse. She believed that chastity is actually a boon to a relationship. I didn’t quite agree on her views but didn’t want to start an argument out of a pleasant conversation.

Image of Chabua, Assam
A tea plantaion in Chabua, Assam where we lived

The coffee man came again and both of us ordered coffee again. In her opinion, commitment has to be there no matter whether the spouse has tolerable defects since that is what true love is. I asked her whether she is married and she replied that her husband is a bank manager working in Assam. Bingo again! I told her that I have been to Assam. She was curious to know how Assam was. I told her about the tropical rains that people get there and the lush green atmosphere. I told her that she would love that place. She was planning to go in a month. Probably she is already there.

Image of Ben 10
Ben 10

I wanted to know the kind of TV shows children are addicted to. She told that there is a thing called Ben 10 which is the current craze among children below 10. She wouldn’t be surprised to see a 5 year old watching porn in the years to come. She said that it is the parents who should be blamed. Most educated people work in MNCs and both the parents often arrive at home late. They never get to know their kid except for off days. This adversely affects the way kids grow up. It has been proven time and again but yet that is the direction in which the society is moving.

Image of Alfred Adler

Alfred Adler

During that conversation, it just came out of my mouth “Life without control is like a tea without a teapot.” She asked what it meant. I told her that we need a platform to build things. It is not like we are free thinkers and hence we can be in anyway we want. That shouldn’t be the case. There has to be some restriction as in the case of a teapot. Our life is like the tea inside a teapot. The moment it breaks, the tea scatters around creating a mess. She liked that point of view very much and told that she can use that when she counsels her subjects.

Image of Online Social Networking
Online Social Networking

Later on we kind of slowly brushed off all other subjects and started discussing about our lives. I told her about where I studied and what I aim for and she listened attentively. I asked her whether she was in social networking and she told that she likes Orkut. Finally our three and a half hour long conversation came to a halt when the train arrived at Kollam Junction. We said good bye to each other. She wished me good luck and told that she hoped to meet me again in future.

I was glad because I was able to meet someone of my frequency. I started reading my book again and within another hour, Trivandrum Central came. I got down, took an autorikshaw and went to Hotel Keerthi at Aristo Junction where I had booked a room the previous day…..